


When You Let Go

by aethkr



Series: It's Hard to Let Go of Something so Promising [4]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, a side-story, its a 'what-if' fic, or to be more specific, ruby is just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 05:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aethkr/pseuds/aethkr
Summary: Yoshiko held on for too long, forgetting the option to let go.“Sometimes you hold on to something too tight that you forget that you can let go.”





	When You Let Go

_“Sometimes you hold on to something too tight that you forget that you can let go.”_

 

Humans are weird, aren’t they?

They can do many things like cooking, playing, interacting, and the like.

Some can achieve feats others can barely touch. Some have troubles with life while others live without struggle.

Humans die and humans are born. It’s the normal cycle of life.

 

Though one of the things humans are also capable of, it’s holding on to something that pains them so long.

They know they can’t withstand the pain, they can’t withstand the hurt, they can’t withstand the struggle. And yet, they **keep**. **going**. They believe their efforts will grant them the results they also wanted. They think that _“if I do this, I’ll succeed”_ but what they do not know, is that  even though if you tried, it doesn’t mean that you’ll get your result.

Another example is how humans will love another human for an unspecified amount of time. They will wait for their feelings to be requited. Some have their feelings answered, some don’t.

Sometimes I wish we can realize how much pain we can withstand before breaking apart. I wish we know how much pain we can take before everything that was once okay splits into pieces.

But that’s part of living, you learn from your mistakes, so you can stand up again. Like what they say, _“experience is the best teacher”_.

Though experience requires you to fall down, before you can stand.

 

“Zuramaru!” I called out, panting. I was never really used to running long distances. “Wait up!”

“Zura?” She stopped in her tracks, turning around and gave you a look. “What’s wrong Yoshiko-chan?”

“Ugh! It’s Yohane!” I stomped softly, she gave a light chuckle.

“You’re cute when you’re like that you know?” Hanamaru said, now stifling another chuckle. “Ah…Yoshiko-chan, do I look okay?”

“Of course!” I smirked. “Zuramaru always looks good! After all, you’re my little demon!”

The comment made Hanamaru blush and it made me happy even just for a few seconds.

“Where are you going anyway?”

 

Hanamaru had a date with Ruby today. I wasn’t surprised. I could see how much they loved each other.

I could see that they would stay together until they graduate. Maybe they’ll even stay together until death. Huh, _till death do them part_.

Why did I run? I mean, it wasn’t like I was going to confess. I wasn’t going to tell her anything confidential, so why did I run? Why did I ask them to wait? Why did I ask her to wait for me even though I know she never will stay and watch me go after her? Why did I ask her to stop in her tracks to look at someone she doesn’t have an interest in?

Why did I ask the person I love to wait for me, to stop in her tracks? For what did I do it for?

 

There are times where I don’t understand myself. This is one of them, but in retrospect, I ran for her because I just wanted to feel the thrill of trying to get her again. I wanted to feel the feeling of being in love, with the chance of being requited, with the chance of being accepted. I ran after her since I wanted to feel the feeling of…. _being possibly loved back_.

I mean, I understand that she wouldn’t love me back. Why would she fall in love with someone like me? I have a weird ‘fallen angel’ personality. I’m an outcast. I’m not _valuable_. My life is a downwards spiral to darkness. I am never good enough. I always disappoint. So why should I be surprised that she loves Ruby instead of me? Ruby is valuable. She comes from a high family. She doesn’t have a split personality. She isn’t an outcast. She is living a good life. She always can pass expectations and she always makes up when she makes mistakes. It’s no wonder Hanamaru fell for her.

Since why would she fall for someone who doesn’t do anything right?

 

“Mornin’ Yoshiko-chan!” Hanamaru said, patting my head gently. “How’s your day zura?”

“G-Great!” I nearly stuttered, surprised at her greeting. “How about yours?”

“It’s GRWEAT!” She bit her tongue. I let out a small laugh. “Anyways…hehe…..Ruby was so romantic the other day!”

My brain suddenly was haywire. “R-Really?” I said, mustering a smile to hide my surprise. I shouldn’t be so surprised. They’re dating after all. I wouldn’t expect less, and even though Hanamaru is already taken, I can’t help but feel my heart skip a beat.

She told me everything that Ruby did yesterday. She was sparkling with joy as each word left her mouth, but as each word left her mouth, I could feel my smile breaking. As she carried on, I could feel my smile becoming forced. As she carried on, I could feel my heart splitting.

And the next thing I know, tears were running down my face.

“Yoshiko…..chan?” Hanamaru said, confused. Of course she would be confused. I never told her how I felt— “I’m sorry zura. I should’ve thought of your feelings too right zura?”

“E-Eh?” I was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I know you l-l-love me……zura..”

 

Hanamaru knew about what I felt for a long time. Was it really that obvious? Maybe. Yō already noticed. Mari noticed. Riko noticed. Heck, almost all of them noticed! I guess I’m not good at hiding my feelings. Though at least it saves me the effort to confess right?

No, no it doesn’t. It doesn’t save me the effort to confess. For I will never be able to tell her what I feel. Or should it be what I felt? I won’t be able to tell her what I felt for her. All the dreams that I wished would come true will never become reality. It hurts, but I’ll make do. I make mistakes, I disappoint others, but I don’t really care.

That’s what part of being a human. You make mistakes, but you need to stand up and continue. You need to stand up and continue your journey.

 

And that’s when I stop holding on to her, and fall. And even though as I fall, and even though I may hit the ground hard, at least I know I can stand up after.

Since I finally realized, after holding on for so long, I can finally let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Think of this as the 'replace Ruby with Yoshiko what-if' fic and that she recovers faster (of course, it's a one-shot).


End file.
